It’s beginning to look alot like Christmas~!

So re: the last post, the staying up was totally worth it watching Canada win gold 3-0!! I ended up just watching it on my iPhone by FaceTime on my friend’s TV because streaming it on the internet was behind the real time by half a minute. After the win, I went outside (6:30 am) and made a tiny snowman because…it was snowing!!!

andddd its mid-February!! And it’s not even the usually snow-that-melts-once-it-hits-the-ground but the snow-that-stays-and-is-snowman-material! Of course,  I just HAD to build a snowman! I haven’t built one in years! The last time I built a legit snowman was probably Grade 7. Snow days were all the rage back then. We made a snow slide and all in the front yard of the school as well! When I told my dad I wanted to build a snowman, his reaction was sort of like “YOU’RE AN ADULT”. But through some insisting, I convinced him to come out with me, and that you’re never too old to build a snowman, because you aren’t! But I have to say one thing…I’m sore all over after building one snowman, don’t know how we did it in elementary school! My muscles! Anyways, I tried to build Olaf from Frozen *cue: Do you want to build a snowman?* and somewhat succeeded while failing? His tummy totally destroyed his feet so his bottom half is like a traditional snowman. His face looks pretty legit, except…it’s kind of tilted up (because it was easier to mold it standing straight and we didn’t make him tall enough) so he looks funny face-on. Kind of like a dog with huge lips. But all in all, it was a fun hour well spent in the freezing cold with my dad! 

Hi, I’m Olaf!

Now back to the snow and Christmas-esque landscape. The snow is so beautiful to watch. Coming down, just knowing that each of those million of snowflakes are unique. Mind-boggling! It’s the perfect distraction for the incoming stress of midterms. Sigh, if only the holidays and winter break was around the corner and appearing as suddenly as the weather! But I’m so glad it’s snowing and not raining. I don’t have to get wet, and it looks pretty! It’s definitely worth the freezing cold temperature. I just hope that the cold landscape doesn’t bring on the winter blues again. It’s bad enough already without extra blues! 

Ohhh Cannn A Daaaaa~

I’m currently staying up, waiting for the gold medal hockey game for 2014 Sochi Olympics – Canada vs Sweden! The Olympics always made me feel so…patriotic. Seeing the team unity and everyone cheering on each other is so touching. Every time I see people win a medal I feel so emotional, so happy for them! It must feel amazing to be able to compete at that level and win. Orrrr maybe those were just parts of my emotional episodes from PMS-ing! But yeah, seeing the sportsmanship, the level of perfection, and the way countries gather behind their athletes is so…amazing. GO CANADA GO! Hopefully they’ll play like women 😉

Speaking of patriotism, being an Asian-Canadian, it’s interesting whenever it gets to the topic of countries. Watching badminton with my brother, I tend to cheer for those who are the underdog (aka not China) whereas my family would cheer for China no matter what. It doesn’t matter that we’re relatively whitewashed, were born in Canada, and have never been to China or anywhere in Asia. I recently observed a discussion about this topic. Apparently there would be people who are totally “for” China to make up for being in the inferiority in a western country. I personally am not much into patriotism or culturalism and don’t feel that way, but I was somewhat surprised when I felt emotional seeing Canadians on the podium. Maybe it’s the growing up and understanding more about what it means to be proud of other people who are from our country and representing it well or just seeing the whole unity of people coming together during Olympics. People who would cheer “Canada” as our four-man bobsleigh team walk to the finish line after their crash. Or the Canadian coach who gave the Russian cross country skier new skis to replace his broken one so that he could have a good finish. It’s in times like this that we can really see what it means to live in peace and unity. It doesn’t matter the country you’re from, the colour of your skin, or the language you speak. Competition doesn’t require communication, yet you can see how much respect there is for everyone on that world wide stage. Everyone has an equal chance at the medals and the Olympics just brings everyone together. There might be controversies at times (like the figure skating judging) but overall, I think the Olympics give a great show of the most talented athletes on Earth that stirs in us a fire for our countries. Now back to my attempt at being productive while I’m awake and waiting. Watching Olympics is always better live, having that “moment” with them! GO CANADA GO, let’s bring home the gold!!

Time flies. Really. Really fast.

Reading break this year has been…a mental war in the trenches. It didn’t help that I was PMS-ing the week before, on the verge of tears almost all the time. So, my emotions were already all over the place. Then, I start stressing out over the use of my time during reading break. Of course I hoped to use my time wisely and study lots, but it just got too intense in the trench warfare. I don’t even know if I want to fast-forward time or slow down time. I was so tired and I just needed to really take a “break” during reading break. Then the whole cycle begins, never-ending. They’re at a standoff – studying or relaxing, one or the either. Staring each other in the eye, the tension feels as if it’s going to make my brain explode. Each reasoning thought takes a walk in the minefield. It gets so stressful and tiring. It’s even more stressful and tiring than studying itself I bet! And most of these episodes last quite a while…when I look at the clock periodically, an hour has passed. And of course, to give my mind a break, I watch pointless but entertaining YouTube videos. Another hour passes. Then another. And subconsciously, it’s back to the battlefield. It’s so frustrating and I feel as though I’m going to fail myself either way. I can’t get over the fear of this trench warfare. And so the clock keeps on ticking, everything’s stressed, and fear storms in. How is school going to be these upcoming weeks? Intense. I can only hope that I can get myself back on track, clear my mind, and focus on what I need to do without thinking too much. And yes, that is too much to ask of my poor strategic war-torn brain.

Living that fairy tale.

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day! A day where I feel extra single. I know I would love to have someone to share my everything with, but… I feel as though I’m not ready for them just yet. I just hope that one day I’ll meet someone who has seen/sees all my flaws and still love me. Yup, I love all those fairy tale happily ever love stories. My perfect fairy tale prince? Well…he’s not really a prince except through marriage, but it’s got to be Eugene Fitzherbert. Flynn Rider. That smolder! And from all those dramas I watch, I seem to like the seemingly coldhearted ones who are actually a big lovable romantic cutie on the inside. But back to Flynn and last week…my friend made my fairy tale dream from Tangled come true!

Friday February 7th is a day I’ll never ever forget for the rest of my life.
My friend and I first went to the dumpling festival downtown where we did a bunch of random activities such as finding the difference, taking pictures in the cardboard cutouts, tasting tea, etc. For dinner, we had dimsum from the nightmarket style tent they had outside. Then we had to find a starbucks to get that amazing Blossoming Peach tea latte. I sure wish it could stay and become a permanent drink! Then it was time for some fun…after finding a parking spot at the packed Spanish Banks! We ended up parking on the shoulder and walked over to the beach only to see a lantern hit a tree, burn up in flames, and then fall onto a car parked not too far from ours, also on the shoulder of the road. Nevertheless we just hoped nothing would happen to our car and that the trees wouldn’t catch on fire. Nothing could deter us from lighting our lanterns up! Watching other people light their lanterns and letting them float slowly to the crowd of lanterns shining like bright stars was amazing. It felt so…magical. Like I was in a special moment, it’s indescribable. The feeling like I’m overflowing with joy. Everything was perfect. We decided to try to light our lanterns and asked someone if they could help us record that moment. Thankfully we chose a super nice guy who helped us as we lighted ours. I think mine would have just lit up in flames if he hadn’t given us tips and helped us! And we have a very entertaining video memory because of his help. Lighting my friend’s lantern up by ourselves was pretty smooth cept for one little hole (mine had a few burnt holes). But watching them both go up with our wishes, it felt like it will definitely come true. And even if it didn’t, it’s ok.

Yes I was a bit greedy, writing down two wishes. I guess I should have just asked for more wishes. Anyways. My first wish is that I want to make my life worth it, to be able to say that I’m proud of myself. I always wonder what kind of imprint I would leave if I was to die today. Who would remember me? How will they remember me? I can only think of all the wrongs and mistakes I have done to people, so I wish that I can fill my future with lasting memories that are worth remembering in a good way. The second part of that wish mostly has to do with my extremely low self esteem. I regret almost everything that I do. You can always do better. I hope to find that level of contentment where I can know that I have done the best that I could and be happy with myself, be proud of myself. My second wish is to not just be like ships in the night. I’ve mentioned that song tons of times now that even my friend knew that it was a song when she saw my wishes! I never talk to her about it either! But yes, I hope that throughout all the relationships I have, I can learn to grow and have a two way relationship. Even if things might not work out between us, I hope that we can remain friends who are able to talk, acquaintances. It’s also a hope that I will not withdraw when I’m depressed or overwhelmed. Instead of ignoring people, I have to learn to give and take, to be there for others despite just wanting to curl up and lock up myself. Friends deserve the best care I am able to give them and it’s unfair if I’m so selfish and just leave them, passing them by like ships in the night. Not being like ships in the night also specifies being more observant for the people around me, whether I know them or not. Maybe it’s someone I encounter on the bus or someone I see at work, or someone I know. Instead of living in a world with just me and my friends, I will try to learn to live in a world where everyone else is part of it too.