Happy Belated Valentine’s Day! A day where I feel extra single. I know I would love to have someone to share my everything with, but… I feel as though I’m not ready for them just yet. I just hope that one day I’ll meet someone who has seen/sees all my flaws and still love me. Yup, I love all those fairy tale happily ever love stories. My perfect fairy tale prince? Well…he’s not really a prince except through marriage, but it’s got to be Eugene Fitzherbert. Flynn Rider. That smolder! And from all those dramas I watch, I seem to like the seemingly coldhearted ones who are actually a big lovable romantic cutie on the inside. But back to Flynn and last week…my friend made my fairy tale dream from Tangled come true!
Friday February 7th is a day I’ll never ever forget for the rest of my life.
My friend and I first went to the dumpling festival downtown where we did a bunch of random activities such as finding the difference, taking pictures in the cardboard cutouts, tasting tea, etc. For dinner, we had dimsum from the nightmarket style tent they had outside. Then we had to find a starbucks to get that amazing Blossoming Peach tea latte. I sure wish it could stay and become a permanent drink! Then it was time for some fun…after finding a parking spot at the packed Spanish Banks! We ended up parking on the shoulder and walked over to the beach only to see a lantern hit a tree, burn up in flames, and then fall onto a car parked not too far from ours, also on the shoulder of the road. Nevertheless we just hoped nothing would happen to our car and that the trees wouldn’t catch on fire. Nothing could deter us from lighting our lanterns up! Watching other people light their lanterns and letting them float slowly to the crowd of lanterns shining like bright stars was amazing. It felt so…magical. Like I was in a special moment, it’s indescribable. The feeling like I’m overflowing with joy. Everything was perfect. We decided to try to light our lanterns and asked someone if they could help us record that moment. Thankfully we chose a super nice guy who helped us as we lighted ours. I think mine would have just lit up in flames if he hadn’t given us tips and helped us! And we have a very entertaining video memory because of his help. Lighting my friend’s lantern up by ourselves was pretty smooth cept for one little hole (mine had a few burnt holes). But watching them both go up with our wishes, it felt like it will definitely come true. And even if it didn’t, it’s ok.
Yes I was a bit greedy, writing down two wishes. I guess I should have just asked for more wishes. Anyways. My first wish is that I want to make my life worth it, to be able to say that I’m proud of myself. I always wonder what kind of imprint I would leave if I was to die today. Who would remember me? How will they remember me? I can only think of all the wrongs and mistakes I have done to people, so I wish that I can fill my future with lasting memories that are worth remembering in a good way. The second part of that wish mostly has to do with my extremely low self esteem. I regret almost everything that I do. You can always do better. I hope to find that level of contentment where I can know that I have done the best that I could and be happy with myself, be proud of myself. My second wish is to not just be like ships in the night. I’ve mentioned that song tons of times now that even my friend knew that it was a song when she saw my wishes! I never talk to her about it either! But yes, I hope that throughout all the relationships I have, I can learn to grow and have a two way relationship. Even if things might not work out between us, I hope that we can remain friends who are able to talk, acquaintances. It’s also a hope that I will not withdraw when I’m depressed or overwhelmed. Instead of ignoring people, I have to learn to give and take, to be there for others despite just wanting to curl up and lock up myself. Friends deserve the best care I am able to give them and it’s unfair if I’m so selfish and just leave them, passing them by like ships in the night. Not being like ships in the night also specifies being more observant for the people around me, whether I know them or not. Maybe it’s someone I encounter on the bus or someone I see at work, or someone I know. Instead of living in a world with just me and my friends, I will try to learn to live in a world where everyone else is part of it too.