Exams are over, I get to sleep at night, and I can “relax”, or so I thought. There’s been so much pressure about me doing something towards my career of pharmacy now that I’m in pharmacy. I’m still trying to sort it out in my head but I’m not really leaning towards rushing to find a volunteering position or employment at a pharmacy right now. I feel as though it’s going to be what I’m doing for the rest of my life, so why not enjoy some relaxation for now? I honestly don’t know if I am going to become a pharmacist and choose that career path after I graduate anyways. I just feel like I can use this time now to do what I want to do, do something meaningful. For one, I haven’t been back to the senior home since Connie passed away and my heart really goes out to the seniors; I plan on going back to regular visits and volunteering there. Even though my head tells me that it might just break me down once again if another senior that I know there passes away, but my heart stubbornly keeps pulling me in that direction. Having seen how the seniors feel living in a senior home, from my experience with my grandma and also the other seniors I visited, I want to make a difference in their lives there. I want to bring that smile to their face, having someone to talk to when their family is too busy to visit them, to show them that they’re cared for and have a friend. I’d also like to spend more time with my hobbies as they help me relax and there’s so much craft ideas that I want to try out. Haha I know that’s not really “meaningful” but it’s something that could help me relax. I feel like I’ve been under so much pressure under the school year, that I just need a break. But yeah, depending on the workload for my summer courses, I’m considering finding an organization to volunteer at to help the less fortunate. There’s just so much I want to do but don’t know how to do. Anyways, my brain still hasn’t been working properly yet, still recuperating from the overtime and intense studying I guess… I hope.
In the meantime, I’m just going to relax, watch all the dramas I want, and have some good therapeutic stress-relieving hangouts with my friends. I tend to shut myself off from the rest of the world during exam periods or just most of the time really, so I think I’ll work on that. It’s hard when it takes me so much energy to push away those depressing thoughts, but for the sake of those around me, and my own sake, I’ll try my best. Even though I don’t mind dying any day now, I’m probably still going to live for a while…so I might as well make the most of it! My first step in the change? Doing my nails. Haven’t done that in a while. My random design of dots turned out kind of like a floral design, a bit too bright for my liking, but it matches the beautiful weather outside right now. The cherry blossoms are out and everything is bright and cheery. Even though I don’t feel “bright and cheery”, at least my nails will feel that way? It’s a nice reminder of bright and cheery.