T’is the season to be jolly?

Christmas used to be a huge thing in my life. The tree would go up, decorations were made, gifts were wrapped, and cards were designed. It was a time of big family dinners, the rare time when we could see and play with our nephews and nieces who were closer in age with us than our cousins. It was a time of happiness, of anticipation, of love. As we got older, it seemed to become a chore. The tree began to be put up every odd year now and then, the ornaments began to break or were lost, it was a burden buying gifts. Now, there’s no tree put up, cards aren’t made, and gifts became dollar bills. The time spent on Christmas subconsciously decreased as the years passed by. We don’t even have the reminder of Christmas performances like in elementary and high school. It became a date rather than a holiday.

For me especially, last Christmas was the worst and hopefully will be the worst I will ever experience. It’s…not ruined, but it’s definitely changed my emotions for Christmastime. I’m pretty sure that I’ve blogged about it, but it was the time when I found out that I had failed a midterm. It was the first test that I’ve ever failed, and an important one at that, worth 50% of a 6 credit course. Then, I receive news of my dad’s best friend’s car accident and passing. When things hit you like that, those emotions become ingrained in you. I can’t help but remember it so vividly, like it was yesterday. I guess it sucks having such a good memory. Specially with the amygdala strengthening those memories with strong emotions. I don’t know whether it’s amazing how our body works or if it’s a hindrance. It just makes Christmas more somber, as the memories of the past are there in the background.

But nonetheless, I’ve realized that Christmas is a time of healing, of love. The Christmas spirit can still be found. Shopping for gifts for everyone you care about, thinking about them, their likes and dislikes, it makes you happy inside. Seeing people during Christmas dinners or just a get together, and catching up on the year’s happenings. Even just saying Merry Christmas to people you see, a celebration together with everyone in the world. Despite having experienced previous Christmases that may not have been full of happy memories for me, there’s always Christmases to come to create new memories. So Merry Christmas everyone! And I hope that everyone will be able to find that Christmas spirit. It is indeed a season to be jolly.

A time to give

Merry Christmas! 🙂
Christmas is definitely different from the ones when I was a young child, but growing older, I still feel like a kid again at Christmas! This stuffed moose I got as a present from my friend made me feel just like a little kid again. The carefree days without worries. Anyways, I think everyone no matter young or old should enjoy Christmas and relive their carefree moments! 🙂

Holiday Cheer/Rant

It’s nearing Christmas. What can I say. Christmas carols on the radio, bright lights decorating houses, the snow that’s been falling, the decor everywhere… everyone is happy and bustling about. As always, I have the winter blues. It’s not that I don’t love Christmas, which I do, but I guess I think more during this season. Thinking back on the year: what happened, what I got and what I lost, what I wish to do, just thinking and thinking and thinking.

It was my brother’s birthday yesterday. I made a video compilation of his friends saying happy birthday to him. After school that day, he thanked me, and I felt so sad for him. You have no idea how much I wanted to give him a hug, do something for him, make him happy on his birthday. What happened was that no one said happy birthday to him. Of all the people that participated in the video, only three said happy birthday, and they aren’t even his close friends! At school, the people he hung out with didn’t mention anything and neither did they contribute to the video. It was in the last class that a guy one year older who he’s not that close with said happy birthday to him in math class, resulting in the whole class singing happy birthday. It’s sad isn’t it, that if our birthdays are not on Facebook, people don’t know our birthdays. How much is it really worth to have people say happy birthday to you on Facebook that they would otherwise not have cared about? Does anyone still care enough to remember and do something for their friend’s birthday?

Through all this thinking about birthdays, Christmas, and friends, I really saw how real friends are the ones who take the time to care, take the time to remember the little things, who find time for you. Everyone is busy. It’s life. But, it’s still possible to keep friendships and show someone just how much you care. When better to do that than over the holiday break? This Christmas, I’ll be thinking of ways to show my love and appreciation for my friends and family.