One of those nights, again

It’s one of those nights

Where I hide away in my room to sleep

Where the tears just soak my pillows as I lay down

It’s one of those nights

Where I hate the headache more than ever

Where I’m so tired that not only does the pain never go away, it’s been 3 days of extreme pain and straight up migraines

It’s one of those nights

Where song lyrics hit me hard in the heart

Where I think and I cry and I think

It’s one of those nights

Where I just want the thoughts to stop

Where I just want the pain to go away

Where I just feel so hopeless


(Heh…if I was in a different mood, this could’ve felt poetic)


Verbal diarrhea part 2…let’s rant!

Yet again, there’s been someone who has so blatantly assumed that my brother was dumb. If you assume, you make an ass out of u and me. I love that saying. And it’s definitely true because I know for a fact that my brother is not stupid, intellectually or emotionally. And what’s more frustrating? It isn’t someone who assumed that after a first impression. Needless to say, he doesn’t know my brother even after 2 years. If it was me, I would at least ask if I wasn’t sure. Instead of “Oh so you’re going to be in General Arts right?”, why not “What are your post secondary plans?” Since he had never asked him before anyways. And my poor brother, I really admire his maturity, just took it quietly. I wonder how he would feel if it was the other way around and someone had just asked him about his profession and getting it wrong in the same manner? My brother is going to into General Science thank you very much and his entrance average is a mark that even I am jealous of! Why oh why do people keep assuming that just because he’s quiet and tall and big and without glasses that he doesn’t have the intellectual ability that others have?! And why do they, on the other hand, keep assuming how smart I am?! I wish so badly that it would be switched, for him to be recognized of his abilities and achievements. The recognition that I do not deserve. All this assuming has made him want to just play that role of being a dumb guy. He makes it sound like he’s ok and he’d rather hide his intelligence, but who would want to be assumed to be dumb?? Would anyone be ok with people just stepping all over them because they think you’re dumb? I can’t wait for the day that they’ll see him for the person he really is. And also, just because he’s a bit “bigger” in size doesn’t mean that he can’t be athletic. “Wow, he’s actually fast!” “Woah is that him playing so well??” I’m just glad people can see that side of him. Although it’s sad that they assumed that he was bad first. Slowly but surely I know he’ll find his place. He doesn’t need to show off and stuff, but I just know that one day everyone will be able to see him for who he is. If they don’t, it’s their loss.

Another thing that irks me is how some people like to only give their minimal effort. I admit that I procrastinate and can be lazy at home, but when it comes to certain things, I don’t allow myself to be lazy. For one, at work, I always try my best, same with volunteering. If there’s nothing to do, I would find something to do; do some cleaning or organizing, etc. Especially at work, since I’m getting paid for my time and work there. Another thing I’m not lazy about are things that I make, since it’ll be the product of my time and work, and it’s gotta have something to show for it! I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my own projects, definitely, but I generally like to do things well, especially if they’re art projects. This, is why it irks me seeing people who are getting paid, working full time, and spending all those 8 hours a day doing…nothing? It doesn’t help that all the other people I’ve heard from has only seen them sitting around doing nothing at work either. I don’t honestly know what they do or need to do, but just from seeing their approach to a paper mâché project that we worked on together (mind you, they were getting paid for the time while I wasn’t) was enough to fire me up. They had already done some other paper mâché structures before working on a new one together. They seemed bewildered seeing the way my brother and I did the paper mâché. Haven’t they done paper mâché in school before? Seriously, who does paper mâché using full pages of newspaper and only doing one layer? The whole point of paper mâché is to use small overlapping pieces and lots of layers to create something that will hold. Yes, it’s a big thing they’re paper mâché-ing, but you could just use bigger strips of newspaper instead of small strips and squares like how you would with a balloon paper mâché. It might take longer to do paper mache with smaller pieces and with multiple layers, but ohmygoodness you’re even getting paid for it! Getting paid for paper mâché…and barely doing it right…really?  Minimal effort. Sure you might be able to scrape by and even succeed with minimal effort, but I do somewhat believe in karma. Those who work hard will be rewarded in the end for their hard work. It might not be an immediate result that you can foresee, but I believe that all the good work will come back to them.