Me against the world

This whole weekend hasn’t been turning out that well at all… I swear it’s not hormones! I’m seemingly at the end of my line, maybe the impending stress of returning to school, but everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, seems to easily piss me off. I’ve had an ongoing headache all weekend as well, which doesn’t help. There seems to be so much more work to do than I can finish in time, and I haven’t been sleeping well either. My bed, which was for some odd reason too comfy a few days ago now feels like a lumpy rock, causing me to wake up several times in the middle of the night tossing and turning. It’s been pouring rain and freezing cold; it’s almost March, Mother Nature! I’ve also been thinking much more than I should be about the past and the future, which doesn’t help on the stress part. No one seems to care or realize that I’m not myself, making me wonder how much my current close friends actually know about me. I guess I don’t let people into my life easily, but I like having friends who I can tell everything to, almost like this blog. Maybe I’m bipolar in a way, I’m either very open or very closed. I hate it when I’m all closed up, but I can’t help it sometimes. The world just seems so harsh and it’s tiring having to put up a front for everyone else. Sorry about the rant, but like my blog’s title says, these are just some of my thoughts that are whirling around in my head. Hopefully I’ll have happier thoughts to post about soon!

And from yesterday…

LENT UPDATE: Day 10 of 40!

10 days does NOT sound like a long time, but it is when you’re itching to watch the latest Wong Fu Production’s videos! I also no longer have the wide variety of music that I had, having been listening only to the songs I have on iTunes or the radio. On the bright side, I’ve had a lot more time on my hands (all those short videos do add up to hours!) and have been able to get more done this reading week that I probably would not have been able to otherwise.

So much of my time is wasted on stupid little things like playing minesweeper (next on my list to stop), looking at tumblrs, talking about “nothing” with my friends, etc. It’s interesting how when there is something that needs to be done, how so many other things become much more intriguing and engaging! It’s easy to be distracted in a world full of distractions, and with “enjoy life” being constantly thrown at us from advertisements, who wouldn’t feel a bit lazier and wish to live life the fun way? I’m not saying you can’t have fun, I just think that there’s so much more you can do with your life if you work a little harder now. All that hard work will get you somewhere, that is guaranteed. In the bigger picture, it really doesn’t matter how many advanced level minesweeper games I’ve finished or what videos I’ve seen, but what we make of our life. We only got one chance to show the world what we’ve got. My mom’s always telling me to use my time wisely, and reflecting on just these past 10 days alone, I can definitely see how I can change my usage of time and energy. I would preferably not quit YouTube foreverrrrr, but maybe limit myself to one or two videos a day. Minesweeper…I can do without.

40 days and 40 nights

Today is 2/13/2013. I’ve always found a fascination with dates when they coincide with the year. I will have to wait for thousands of years before my birthday matches with the year… I digress. Today is also Ash Wednesday, and Lent begins. For 40 days, people abstain from something until Easter. Although I am not Catholic and do not observe Lent, I like a challenge and I resolve to abstain from YouTube for the duration of Lent. 40 days and 40 nights without YouTube. It’s going to be harder than I imagine it to be; I just know it. The past…month? few months? (long time)…I’ve been on YouTube every single day. Music videos, watching vlogs, silly pointless videos, YouTube is one of the tabs that I constantly have open on my browser, especially when I’m studying. One video always always always lead to another. It’s too bad that I do not know how to block websites using Google Chrome, but that will just intensify the challenge of self-control. Sad to say, I’m not very good at self-control, which is all the more reason for me to do this! So for more than a month, I will abstain from YouTube. Just in time for me to crack down on studying for my chemistry midterm tomorrow! I should think that publicizing it should help me do it… and all the best for whatever you may be abstaining from for the next 40 days and nights until Easter!