Why it won’t work out

I hate the way they talk to dad. The way they yell at him like he did something terribly wrong when it was an accident. The way they treat that as more important than his well-being. Dropping and breaking a cup and they ask WHY it happened rather than if he was okay. Then they berate him about being more careful and the way he cleans it up, how he lacks common sense and how “anyone” should know how to do that basic stuff. If everyone knew how to avoid accidents and do things perfectly, we wouldn’t be human. Why do they have to be so harsh. Why don’t they give him any respect as the head of household. Sure, there may be things he’s still learning and things that he doesn’t do that well, but that doesn’t mean you can yell at him condescendingly and verbally abuse him. Then go into the whole “just like your family” spiel. I know there was a lot of hurt and bullying but it shouldn’t be brought onto those who are innocent or the next generation. Heck I feel like I was bullied by my brother because he treats me the same way he treats my dad and everything but I still try my best to be the best sister for him. Because like any relationship, you have to work hard at it. Just because you’re related by blood and stuck with each other for life doesn’t mean that you don’t put any effort. Relationships are two way streets. You give and take, trust, and support each other. My dad doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. My mom talks about how she wanted to take us away because of his family but now I feel like I need to take him away from this family. I guess there’s just this connection with my dad since I was young (I always cry when he cries) and it hurts me seeing him put up with the obvious hurt he feels. I don’t care how nice he is or how strong he is, he shouldn’t be treated that way. I really want to protect him and stand up for him but I’m not strong enough and that hurts me too. To be able to care for and protect someone means that you have to be strong enough. One day I will better myself so that I can protect him from everyone.

On another thought, he himself has been frustrating me. Rather than just looking towards a brighter future, you need to work hard to get that brighter future and the health to live to that day. It’s almost like denial of his declining health. In harsh words, it’s like a slow process of suicide. I know because I did that. When you don’t take care of yourself, you’re just speeding up the dying process. Isn’t that the same as suicide? And when you try to fix it (if you even try), its too late. A simple example would be my cavities. I had 8 cavities because I didn’t brush my teeth for a year. It was way at the bottom of my list of things to deal with when you don’t want to live anymore. It was something that could be fixed but I still ended up going through a lot of pain. But there are things that can’t be fixed. With all those little things happening to him, he really needs to take care of his health. I can’t baby him anymore even though I don’t want to treat him the same way the others do. Because this is important. I “came out” to them about my health, problems and challenges because I wanted to change my life. He needs to be honest with us and himself about his health. Changes need to be made. Changes CAN be made. And changes won’t come just from believing. I’m trying real hard to live and I need him to do that too. I just hope that I can get him to understand that. I know that all my life I’ve been told that “people can’t change” but they can. Because I have.

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