Erasing moments

I try as hard as I can to forget things. Things that I’m embarrassed about, upset over, or just things that break my heart all over again just thinking about it. My poor brain gets the worst of it, trying to remember things for school so hard and being accustomed to remembering everything. Memories can be nice. Memories can bring smiles, laughter, and love. But it can also be that haunting reminder of things that should not have happened. No matter how hard I try to forget something, it always lives on. We can’t just “erase” a part of our life. It’ll always exist in some way. Even though I’ve deleted every conversation history I had on my old laptop and phone, I can still remember the conversations in my mind as though I was reading them from a book. So many regrets, so many things I wish I could take back. And so many things I wish I had said. Too bad time travelling doesn’t exist! I guess its for the better…or it’ll be chaotic with everyone trying to change their lives, their every moment, their every mistake. And the really stupid thing is how the good memories slip slowly away from my mind. They get replaced, they become unimportant, or they are just…forgotten. It seems almost like my mind has an affinity for the sad or unpleasant memories. Why? Maybe because I dwell on those thoughts and when I try to reach for happy thoughts, it’s too late. Like a balloon just floating out of reach, I can see it and feel it, but I just can’t catch it. So I guess I just have to start appreciating the good memories, giving them more of my thinking time, and replace the unimportant regrets of things I can’t change, forgetting them. I can learn from my mistakes and take it to heart, but dwelling on them will just take up time and space in my mind which can be used to store more meaningful and beneficial memories! 

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