One thing I do to stay awake when I’m studying late into the night is to watch dramas. Yes, it can be distracting, but at the same time, it helps me focus. Instead of being distracted by everything around me, it channels my focus to studying. Maybe I’m deceiving myself, but it seems to work! So watching all those dramas, my favourite parts are the love stories. The confession, the making up, the silly fun between the two. I came across this quote from one of the dramas and it really hit me. Sometimes, dramas do represent real life. It isn’t just an overly exaggerated story that was made way too complicated. Here’s the quote:
” Do you know how it feels to be betrayed by the one you deeply love? It feels like there’s a huge rock in your heart. You want to cry but you can’t. You keep asking yourself…what did i do wrong? Was it because I’m not good enough? I might not be good enough, but I can be the person who loves you the most in this world. Then I found out. It’s actually because he didn’t love me enough. Being betrayed by the one you trust, it takes a long time to trust someone again. Being hurt by the one you love, you might never recover. “
I can just imagine him feeling that way. How I was the stupid one who hurt him so badly. How after 9 months did we being talking again. How I still think he can never forgive me. Yes I have a tendency to wallow in the pit of depression and regret under great stress. The only ladder from that bottomless pit is music. But yeah, I’ve been reflecting a lot on who I am and who I want to be while preparing for the pharmacy interview. They could ask me anything; what makes me a good pharmacist, what my strengths and weaknesses are, what I’ve learned in life, etc. There’s a ton I would change. I’ll blog about that next time as i have got to go back to studying. =( It never ends.