So yesterday I was just way too busy to do post anything much less do any studying! I had work from 10-3 then had to look for acceptable professional attire then volunteered at the nightmarket, had dinner and got home at 1. Anyways…I really do need to put all my energy into studying and preparing for the interview even though I’m just really tired of life and its the last thing I want to do.
A friend was deep in thought and distracted during class (totally unlike her) and when I asked what she was thinking about, she asked me about my grandparents. I had never seen either of my grandfathers. My mom’s mother passed away when I was just five. I can still remember her holding me and I was crying just because she was crying. I tried to hide it because I didn’t know why i was crying. My brother was only two and too young to understand what was happening. My dad’s mother passed away two and a half years ago and it was the first death that I was old enough to understand. I used to think that grandparents were just old and almost like strangers. Living with my grandmother for 12 years, she was just…there. I didn’t feel like she cared about me nor my dad, who’s her son. I resented her. I didn’t like visiting her in the senior home because it stank of old people and we would always spend way too much time there. Then, she got sick and her health deteriorated. Sometimes we really need drastic wake up calls don’t we? I realized then after hospitalization and near-death experiences that she was my grandma and that I should have loved and respected her more. I could see how much my dad loved her and it hurt me to see him so upset. When she passed away, I took it pretty hard. So many regrets. I felt like I had grown up. Now, especially after volunteering at a senior home, my views on seniors have changed. Although I no longer have a grandma, I have had the experience of what it’s like to care for the elderly through the countless senior home visits. Since I’ve been busy with university, I haven’t gone in a while. I’m almost scared to go, fearing that the friends I’ve made had passed away. Maybe someday, when life isn’t so busy and hectic. And of course, who wouldn’t want to be loved when they themselves get old? This pharmacy interview, I just want to make her proud watching me from heaven.