In preparation for my interview for entry into the faculty of Pharmacy, I need to learn to formulate ideas and thoughts quickly. And I’ll need to work on my talking and “bubbly-ness” of course, but I just thought this may help. Blogging has helped me in classes to make my thoughts flow better as it helps me practice cold writes. So in light of the preparation of the MMI on June 9th, I am going to blog daily and hope that it can at least help me practice thinking of words on the spot etc. As for the talking, I guess I’ll either be bothering more people more often or start talking to myself in the mirror!
One thing I’ve learned today while asking for advice on preparing for the interviews is that I need to put myself out there. Out of my comfort box. Ever since I can remember, I care a lot about how people view me. I stutter at times because I’m scared. I’m scared of saying the wrong thing or sounding stupid, or both. I have this great fear of everything. Is there a phobia for that sort of fear? I’m scared of commitments because I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I’m scared of the future because I’m scared that I’m not good enough, that I won’t be able to succeed. I’m scared of missing opportunities but I can’t bring myself to have the option of failure. I am a scaredy-cat.
However, for my future, for my parents, for me…I am going to put myself out there and do all that I can to step out of that fear which is putting me in a box. I don’t know whether it’ll be enough for the interviews, but another thing about me is that I’m stubborn. I will work hard for my goals. Today, I had to engage with the vendors at the food court in a mall and not just order my lunch. It was very nervewracking, but I was able to learn something about them two out of three times. I’ve resolved to go buy something and initiate conversation every day this week in addition to the daily blogs. I’m doing this not only for myself, but to make up for the regrets of being a better person before. I know it can’t make a difference to my grandma watching me from heaven, but I want to make her proud. I want to be the ambitious, happy, brave little granddaughter that I was as a child. I know I don’t have much time, and with summer school, life is getting intense. But I’m going to try my hardest and do everything that I can for this.