It feels as if the sky is literally falling on me and I’m dying under all that atmospheric pressure. OK, slight hyperbole, but I feel so cramped on time and squashed under all the responsibilities, etc. Midterms are coming up and a lab is due, and I’m just having a hectic weekend with today busy from morning til night and starting to work now. It’s chaotic to say the least. The pressure is definitely on, as people are expecting me to do well and needless to say, I’m pressuring myself even more. It’s the type of stress and pressure that I would feel the tears build up like “I can’t do all this!” and then I push on.
Two days later from when I first started this post:
I just had another midterm, and it was grueling. Short on time and I just panicked. I changed so many of my answers that probably would have been right before to something I don’t even know what I was thinking. I almost broke down afterwards, my eyes hurt from the tears that were welling up but wouldn’t come out. I have realized that I am not good at math. I can’t think outside the box under pressure to manipulate formulas and calculations. This is quite sad saying this from a stereotypical Asian student. I guess this shows how I’m more suited for courses that require memorization or applying concepts, routines. My brain is fried, but now I have to somehow finish a lab report and study for another midterm tomorrow, which hopefully I’ll feel better about. It’s on days like this that I reach out to my friends. Needless to say, I have the best friends in the world who immediately gave me comfort and reassurance, lessening the blow that I had burdened myself with. It’s like floating in an ocean; alone you will drown because sometimes we get tired from treading water and the waves just keep on buffeting against us, but friends are like pieces of driftwood that we can rest on and help keep our heads above the water when we ourselves can’t.
Lesson learned – definitely no more procrastinating!
Also, interesting fact, our bodies response to stress by boosting our immune system, but then if we are too stressed, our bodies give up and we can easily get sick. Thus some people always get sick around the time after exams. Interesting how our physiological stress can affect our immune system. I learned from that lecture the 3 ways to stay healthy is to:
1) wash your hands
2) stay happy
3) make money